1 Corinthians 7:15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. (all scripture emphasis is mine)

This page deals with divorcing an unbeliever who has left, not of one who has consented to stay (because then you must let them stay). If one has stayed it is my hope that they will come to Christ. If one leaves it is a blessing to you from God. Read this page and let them depart.

 

This page is for those who find themselves (both married as unbelievers) or get themselves in this situation (a Christian married an unbeliever). I wish such a person to see that he or she can get out of this situation by God’s Word and holding to God’s Word. Such a person, who is struggling to obey God in this situation, may not easily find someone who can help them. That is why this page is here.

For anyone who is struggling with any other divorce, remember there is always God’s grace. This page only covers divorce between a believer and an unbeliever. This following is scripturally sound.

From what I wrote below: “To not divorce would be disobedient to God’s word and it would mean that you would stay bound to them on earth which would continue them possessing what should be yours (a benefit of being sanctified) and continue your affliction...”

 

God does not join light and darkness. God tells believers to come out from unbelievers. 2 Corinthians 6:17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you. We are to be in the world but not of it. We love unbelievers and try to bring them to Christ, but are not to be yoked to them.

Paul speaks of an unequally yoked marriage here: 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. 15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

If a Christian marries an unbeliever (Exodus 23:32-33), and becomes unequally yoked he or she is afflicted but not joined to them in marriage in God’s eyes. Afflicted because the unbelieving husband or wife is sanctified and God will not allow the unbeliever to share in His blessings to the believer. I believe if you do not repent (and divorce), to your enemies will go the spoils (see about your inheritance). I believe the affliction is like the flow of goods to the believer being dramatically reduced so that the unbeliever enjoys less of what God intended only for you and a believing husband or wife or an unbeliever that remained. You have to understand that there are unseen evils at work in this word, if they are known by the believer or the unbeliever or not and these evils cannot and will not be blessed.

When you repent and let go of the unbeliever that left... and completely let go, including divorce, you can look forward to this blessing: Isaiah 62:8 The Lord has sworn by His right hand and by His strong arm, “I will never again give your grain as food for your enemies; Nor will foreigners drink your new wine, for which you have labored.”

Unequally yoked: not a real marriage in God’s eyes: I believe that Paul even states that an unequally yoked marriage is not a real marriage, when first in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 he addresses the married: 10 But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband 11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife. Then in verse 12 he says, “But, to the rest I say…” when he addresses those unequally yoked. I believe this definitely shows Paul does not consider them truly married. I believe, only if the unbeliever remains and accepts Christ would it become a real marriage.

When Paul says, But to the rest I say, not the Lord… He is not saying that the Lord does not agree with him. He is saying that Jesus never mentioned this situation in His teachings. It’s a new teaching from the Holy Spirit though Paul. 2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; It is inspired teaching from Paul to believers about a marriage to an unbeliever. Now, some might say “well that deals with someone who was already married to an unbeliever and it does not apply to a Christian who gets married to an unbeliever.” They are right in that Paul is speaking about that situation but they are wrong that he is not also speaking to any Christian who is currently married to an unbeliever who has departed. Here is why: If you are a Christian and are, at this time, currently married to an unbeliever, are you not now a “...brother (who) has a wife who is an unbeliever…”? or are you not now, “...a woman who has an unbelieving husband…”? Yes you are. So, 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 does apply to your situation.   Note: I inserted the (who) for clarity.

Now, the command if the unbelieving one leaves, is to let them depart (King James). Now, If you let them leave and do not divorce them you have not let them depart completely because in this world you are still considered married. You have not completely let them depart (or leave).  1 Corinthians 7:15 15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace (King James). With the words “let him depart” (him means him or her), you are commanded by God to let go of this person completely. Not just in heaven but on earth.

Matthew 18:18 "Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven. This is NOT saying that you are considered married to the one that left, in God’s eyes. It is saying you are bound on earth and, to not be under bondage on earth, you must let this person depart (let go of them) and let God undo the mess you got yourself into (a mess you got yourself into, if you were a believer when you married the unbeliever). You are still tied to this person by documents on earth (Christ defeated all of Satan’s legal claims on Christians, so be of good cheer). So, legally, you cannot marry again until you are divorced. To not divorce would be disobedient to God’s word and it would mean that you would stay bound to them on earth which would continue them possessing what should be yours (a benefit of being sanctified) and continue your affliction (my affliction began to noticeably decrease before my divorce was final, then it seemed to get worse again, but by God’s grace I walked by faith and am doing well now (I am now again single as of August 17, 2006 and no longer under bondage). There were other things happening that I could not see or understand but to God be the glory what great things He hath done). God says the unbeliever is sanctified and to end this completely you must divorce the unbeliever (I would like to tell you more but your situation may be different, in what I don’t understand. Therefore, I cannot tell you more. Go to God’s Word and let Him direct you). Now, as Matthew 18:18 says, earth is not secondary to heaven. What will be unbound on earth is already unbound in heaven. But for it to be unbound on earth, you must take action and divorce this person.

You must let them go completely and let go of EVERYTHING that pertains to them… everything to the trash heap. I am serious (obviously keep documents you will need to use for the divorce process). Disconnect yourself completely. In my circumstances the unbeliever never became a resident of Tennessee (nor a U.S. citizen), so she could not divorce me by law. I had to divorce her. I believe this is implied when Paul writes “...he must not divorce her... ” when speaking if the unbeliever wants to remain, but if the unbeliever departs, then the opposite is true so he must divorce her, which goes along with letting the unbeliever depart also. Now, it may be okay for the unbeliever to divorce the believer, without any lingering snares to you, by God’s grace, but I truly and honestly think you’re much better off handling it yourself, as you are led by God’s Spirit. God will direct you to do it right, with no entanglements left over. A complete and perfect reversal. Let God lead you to which should be done (you divorce her or him or he or she divorce you) but the end must be a divorce guided by God, so get into His Word and let Him speak to you.

It is written …the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. These words are after “let him depart” (him, means him or her). You must cling to Christ and the Word of God like never before and walk in the Spirit and let go of this person. Let them depart...completely: Get this divorce started and let go of this marriage in your mind, your actions and your spirit. Cling to God and He will get it done in His time. Be patient but get it done (I believe as soon as possible is best). Satan does not want you to get this done so there will probably be interference. Do not fear. Don’t even be concerned about interference or intimidation as you do God’s will here, because interference that God lets happen is for your good (but that does not always, or necessarily, mean that you do not go around such interference, at times, as it may be God moving you to action). You must walk in the Spirit and be attentive to God’s voice, and do what God tells you to do when He tells you. Be steadfast in your hope of the end of this. I have been there and God wants me to help you and I want that too.

In Matthew 19:5-6, Jesus says,  5 and said, 'FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH'?  6 "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."

I regards to: “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate”. Jesus does not say that what God has not joined let no man separate. God does not join light to darkness, so this verse does not apply to an unequally yoked marriage (which is not a true marriage in God’s eyes). The teachings of Jesus in Matthew 19 do not apply to an unequally yoked marriage (except for the “...except for immorality…” portion of verse 9, as I believe Jesus may have addressed this here as I truly believe that sexual immorality or unchastity, given as a Biblical reason for divorce, would not exceed spiritual immorality or unchastity: the bending of a bow aimed at your soul: the unseen nature of marriage to an unbeliever who departs. Otherwise, I believe it was not ever mentioned by Jesus, so then it would have been addressed exclusively, to the best of my knowledge, by the Holy Spirit through Paul).

In regards to: “...AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH'?”  above, and also in 1 Corinthians 6:16, Paul writes, Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." In what Paul writes it seems the one with a prostitute is only one flesh with her when he and she is engaged in sex. When Jesus says that when a marriage takes place that the two involved become one flesh, they are, in some way, united together even when they are apart. Now, I do not believe this is the case for a believer with an unbeliever who has left (the believer must let the unbeliever depart, in any case). I think it would probably be more like the example in 1 Corinthians 6:16 and just be this way when engaged in sex. That is my personal opinion (though possibly like Matthew 19:5 for the unbeliever that does remain, as God knows the future). Now, though I don’t see it exactly this way, lets say the believer and unbeliever who leaves were joined (bound together) just like any other marriage. For an equally yoked situation that would be bound together in the flesh which does happen and is good. For an unequally yoked marriage that would be bondage in the flesh. Paul says (in 1 Corinthians 7:15) Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. Not under bondage, to me, states that the believer is not in bondage of any sort. Not spiritual or in the flesh. He is not under bondage. So, if the believer was one flesh with the unbeliever, God has ended that, or will end that in His time (believer, let the unbeliever depart). If the two were one flesh, the two are no longer one flesh as that would be bondage. So, no matter if they were one flesh or never were the believer is not under bondage. This is one reason why I believe there is definite room in scripture for my belief that the believer can marry again as if he or she has never been married.

Jesus’ teaching about marriage: Matthew 19:1-9 1 When Jesus had finished these words, He departed from Galilee and came into the region of Judea beyond the Jordan; 2 and large crowds followed Him, and He healed them there.3 Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?" 4 And He answered and said, "Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, 5 and said, 'FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH'? 6 "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate (italics is mine). "7 They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND her AWAY?" 8 He said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. 9 "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery." (Again, there is nothing more immoral than what you don’t know about an unequally yoked marriage… the unseen things happening here).

Malachi 2:16 "For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously." Again, God is not speaking of an unequally yoked marriage. Now, as a Christian divorcing an unbeliever, you must make sure that you do not deal treacherously. We are to love our enemies, so obviously we deal with divorcing an unbeliever with the love of Christ shinning though us at this time, as all times (but we do not love evil. Remember that) then we disconnect completely (let them depart), at the appropriate time (when God tells you to) and do not hate them but love them (not their evil) but again, have no contact (when God tells you to end contact), then pray for them and then forget, forget, forget the past and press on... (obviously, send them all the documents that they need in their circumstances to show that they are divorced and that law requires during the divorce process).

2 Corinthians 6:14-18 14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? 16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you. 18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

Now, here in 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 Paul is speaking (in relation to this topic) that you should never have married an unbeliever (become unequally yoked). But if you did, you should still come out from them now (as this applies to the unbeliever having departed). Even though Paul begins speaking in a future tense “Be ye not...”, meaning do not ever become unequally yoked, in the beginning of these verses, what applies to you now is here: “Wherefore come out from among them...” as it is present tense and your obedient exit out of this affliction. These verses also apply to being yoked with unbelievers in a non-marital relationship, whether it be family, friends or business associates. You should be kind and show the love of Christ and try to bring them to Christ (but if they refuse to accept Christ you must end that yoke also). I am not speaking that all the people you work with must be believers, I am saying if you are yoked to them you must end the yoke. Exodus 34:12 " Watch yourself that you make no covenant with the inhabitants of the land into which you are going, or it will become a snare in your midst. Exodus 23:32-33

Marrying an unbeliever is an unequal yoke of tremendous proportion. The believer is like a magnet pointing in one direction and the unbeliever is pointed in the totally opposite direction. Opposites do not attract. People look at that the wrong way. Think of two magnets, one in front of the other. The positive charge does connect to the negative but the two positive ends of the magnets must both be pointed in the same direction for this to happen. It’s not that opposites attract, it’s that things going in the same direction attract. Unequally yoked is where the two negatives repel because one magnet has its positive charge (its head) facing east while the other magnet has its positive charge (its head) facing west. Such a marriage is not made by God, but by man.

Please get back in Church if you are not now. You need a local body of believers to support you and pray for you. James 5:16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

In conclusion, I sincerely believe: Believer, you of all people are blessed. The unbeliever left because God loves you. You can marry again, for the first time, and not worry about committing adultery. In God’s eyes you were never married. You were afflicted. Real marriage only happens between two believers.

I love you and I want to see you in heaven!

If you’re not saved, Come to Jesus!